After this weekend’s sad news about the terrorist attacks on Paris, I’m sure many people’s minds turn to the apparent shortness of life and how quickly our lives can be taken away from us by apparently random events or illness of some kind.
This week we discussed the nature of aging gracefully, leaving a legacy, the fragility of life and how best to take care of ourselves and others before we pass on.
The author of the blog post which inspired this chat is Marguerite Lorenz, a professional trustee and executor and her focus is upon quality of life.
Gratitude in action! https://t.co/0YfspqJxuV
— Marguerite Lorenz (@SanDiegoTrustee) November 15, 2015
A tangible legacy – leaving a will
I know that life was made easier for me and mine because my parents (and also my grandparents – recently discovered) chose to leave clear and legal wills. That is certainly a legacy of love in the most practical of ways.
How else can we leave a legacy?
If we have children…how can we as parents leave a legacy. A parent or caregiver may well tear up if they think about being gone and their child being unprotected or not taken care of.
Other than the practical concerns – my question is more about the emotional and spiritual legacy
As a parent of two girls, I found myself running some programs that my mother employed when she raised me. Some of them I loved…others I began to think applied to another Akashic principle ‘a good idea at the time‘…and it was time to let them go!
Becoming aware of default parenting and change your legacy
Another friend of mind calls the repeating of patterns (which no longer serve us) ‘default parenting’.
Just because an idea was good at the time and it’s in our energy field…and maybe has been there for several generations courtesy of the Akashic Energy — doesn’t mean it needs to stay there for the next several generations!
If this seems like an overwhelming idea…or you have no idea where to start…think about one area where you are in conflict with your children.
- Perhaps it’s about an old parenting cherry, like who they should go out with, and where.
- Or perhaps it’s about something modern, like when and how often (and even what sort) of social media they should be on?
- Or it could even be something that you believe to be right as a deep and abiding belief of yours.
Journal some thoughts to help you consider your parental (and energetic) legacy
In each case, consider journaling your memories about each of these issues from your memories of your parents or caregivers.
How did this issue come up for you as a child?
Did you buck against a rule and get into trouble – or even get hurt? Or did your parents just ground you for a month!?
Really examine this energy and these memories in a number of ways. Even meditate upon it if you can and make all the notes you can.
Once I have this kind of information – I take it to my Akashic Records and ask for spiritual or Soul Level guidance
In some cases, the idea may still be just as valid.
To share this with your children, it would be a great idea to share your previous life experiences (in an age appropriate frame) and help your children understand that they may not get it now…maybe not even in the next 5 years, but perhaps when they are older.
In my case I severely resented my mum and dad preventing me going to a certain nightclub in Portsmouth, UK with some friends. A few weeks later a stabbing occurred there and the nightclub shut down. Now of course I can see that they were right and they may have also even been using their parental intuition! Safety first.
Perhaps the issue is something you are beginning to believe you could compromise upon. So the energy around the idea is changing. What would sit well with your gut and your personal beliefs? Is it something you could explain easily to your partner or other parents should they question you? Does it feel completely congruent with the value sets you raise your children with?
Changing previous family behavior
This could be as simple as – 2 nights a week we allow reading at the table, because it’s pleasant and fun. The result of the time we pay attention to each other.
My parents always had the TV on at the table and I believe we missed out on a lot of interactions as children because of that – on the other hand we don’t have to be ‘on’ socially all the time when we are eating.
What would be a comfortable and energy-raising solution for everyone? (Still in our house I don’t allow personal devices at the table unless it’s a kindle). Still doesn’t feel right to me.
You may find that some beliefs really don’t work for you in modern life – when before they were extremely appropriate.
Here are some simple ones I dropped as the children got a little bigger. Babies don’t necessarily need a bath every day. Sometimes mealtimes can be a little more casual. Keep regular bedtimes, but don’t fret when they are up late for special occasions – they need to know how it feels to not get enough sleep sometimes, even if it’s hard on them (and us!).
I was raised by a 50s housewife who held herself to very high standards – not all of them can be maintained in our modern culture and it’s OK to let them go.
What spiritual legacy do you believe you can pass on to your children by changing an ancestral pattern?
Just because it’s ‘always been done that way’ doesn’t mean that you have to parent by default. What’s in your energy?
I’d love to hear your comments.